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http://www.healthy-intuition.com/2014/06/guest-post-you-mean-i-am-supposed-to.html
Guest Post: You mean I am supposed to feel? by Kathy Heinsohn

While I’m a big believer in the positive thinking movement, one of the first misconceptions I work with clients on is that you can’t just positively think, or will certain thoughts or feelings away. There gets to be an honoring and accepting where you are in order to let go of what you don’t want. Only then can you allow what you do want to come into your space. The thought or emotion must be felt and validated in order for it to flow out of you. And while what once was a beautiful ability to forge ahead into unknown territory, and what ultimately led our early pioneers to settle this American soil, learning to feel was definitely unknown territory that left much to be desired. Processing emotions is not something that is well practiced or really accepted here in the West.

From a very young age, how many of us were told “You’re ok”, “Suck it up”, “You are just fine”, “Don’t cry”, or a myriad of ways that stated what we were feeling was totally unacceptable? And yet when we embrace the child that has an owie and is hurting, and who just wants to be acknowledged with a hug, a validation of their hurt, and possibly a band-aid, they are off running around again before you know it, their owie completely forgotten.

I truly know there is power in validation and allowing feelings and thoughts to be expressed without judgment. Who are we to say that what anyone else is thinking or feeling is not ok, let alone ourselves? It’s what is thought/felt, so regardless, it is what it is. Why not embrace it rather than deny, shove down, bury, hide, ignore, or detach from it?

What we don’t realize that by burying or denying our thoughts and emotions, we are shoving them down further into the abyss of our very beings, giving them a place to reside and grow until one day, it has no other option but to come out. Whether it manifests through a host of dis-eases, old stories and battle wounds that we carry around with us as justification to be angry, hurt, or with-held forgiveness, or some other awful drama or trauma, those feelings/thought will eventually find a way out. The question is, wouldn’t you rather allow it to leave sooner than later without all the trauma/drama, giving you a much more fulfilling and vibrant quality of life?

So how do you honor your thoughts and emotions? This question often comes up, especially when clients don’t want to condone and foster more of the thoughts and emotions they don’t like. There are a couple of beliefs with this. One, “if I accept where I am, I will never get to where I want.” Two, “If I accept this feeling/thought, then it means I condone it.” And lastly, “By allowing this feeling/thought to be accepted by me, I will be dwelling in it.” These are completely untrue! The truth is that anything we resisting will persist (sound familiar?) It’s why diets don’t work, and addictions are addicting. When we focus on all the things we are deprived of or “shouldn’t do”, it isn’t any wonder why we bounce back into binging on all of the “forbidden” foods, or go running back to the addiction we so hate.

There is SO much more I could write on this topic! However, my intention is to keep it simple and share some solutions that bring quick results. In order to honor your thoughts and emotions, you can do several things. I recommend trying them all out and going with what works for you. Some may work better at different times in your life. Don’t write them off immediately because they seem too simple or strange. You never know what will be the key to your finding success in processing emotions and learning how to live a more rewarding life:

• When faced with an unwanted emotion/thought, simply say, “Thank you” to it. Your subconscious is reacting the way it is for a reason, and it is often out of protection. By thanking the emotion/thought, you are telling the subconscious that you got the gift and it doesn’t have to keep protecting you.

• Often times we can’t validate what we’re feeling because we’re so far removed from feeling. In this case, I recommend searching on the internet for a list of feelings. It can be basic or more detailed. Just having a list of emotions was huge for me to reference and actually identify what I was feeling. By simply noticing and owning what you’re feeling/thinking also honors that emotion/thought and allows it to move through you.

• Write down what you’re thinking/feeling. Write completely unhindered, getting everything you feel/think out on the paper. Take all the self-critic and whatever else comes out on the paper to a metal trash can and match and burn it afterwards (ripping it into tiny shreds also does wonders). It gives the subconscious something tangible to see that what was felt and wrote about is now able to leave.

• Tap on your thymus (2” down from the middle of where the colar bone meets in the center) and say, “I’m ok that I feel/think __________.” Or “I’m ok that I don’t like feeling/thinking __________”. This is tapping on an acupressure point that also sends a message to your subconscious. It is greatly validating and allows the emotion/thought to easily flow through. There is much information on the internet about the benefits of tapping, along with the other sequential points to tap on. However, I’ve found tapping on the thymus to be just as effective as going through all the other points.

• Deep breathe with the thought/emotion for at least 5 deep breaths. Feel the emotion in the heart area, and allow the thoughts to gel for a few breaths. Focusing on breathing makes it a conscious act, allowing the focus to be intentional. When you allow the emotion/thought to be felt/thought while consciously breathing, it heightens the ability to flow the emotion/thought through.

• Simply allow the feeling/thought to exist without judgment. Just let it be. Once validated, then you can choose what you would like to replace it with. An example is to sit with discouragement for a while. Once it is allowed to have a voice and speak up, acknowledge it, thank it, and decide what you would like to feel instead.

• Meditate on the thought/emotion for a while. This works great with the deep breathing.

• Forgive the emotion/thought that is unwanted. Quite often, we resent that we feel/think a certain way. When we have such rejection for a part of us, the message gets out to the rest of us and we find all kinds of limiting beliefs and ways that we hold ourselves back, all the while justifying our undeserving-ness because of the things we feel/think about ourselves. It’s a cycle that can be broken by simply forgiving an emotion/thought for existing within us for a moment.

• Realize that the emotion/thought exists only for a moment. Allow it to be in that moment. It’s when we judge that emotion/thought, or hate it, or reject it, or bury it that it becomes a whole lifetime of emotions/thoughts that are unwanted. The patterns really can change, but first we must accept and embrace where we are at in the present before we can let go of the past, or move forward to where we want to be.

Quite often, after an emotion has been honored, answers to long-standing challenges are able to surface and a new door opens. New insight about yourself and how you see yourself in the world are discovered. Dreams seem to become a reality rather than impossibility. And one of my personal favorites, peace becomes a common friend in your life.


I hope this has been helpful! I LOVE sharing information I have learned and look forward to sharing with you again! Please contact me if you have any more questions and I would be happy to answer them.

Much Love, Light, and Courage in facing your own emotions/thoughts along this beautiful Earthly journey.

Kathy Heinsohn
www.myhouseofhealth.blogspot.com
myhouseofhealth.gmail.com

The Five Basics

Today I wanted to briefly touch on one aspect of what Dr. Darren Weissman refers to as the Five Essential Acts of Self-Love (or the Five Basics).  They include: Water, Food, Rest, Exercise, and Owning Your Own Power. 

Complete Health in your own House of Health requires balance in all areas:
     - Body (Physical)
     - Mind (Mental)
     - Spirit (Spiritual)


As you work on one area, it will naturally effect the other areas, but can also throw the balance off.  Sometimes you may need to focus more on one area where you are weak to help strengthen the other areas.  But just as you wouldn't spend all your time in the kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom of your physical house, focusing too much, or only relying on one area creates imbalance or stress.  To effectively create balance in your body, life, and relationships, working on all three areas is essential.  As you strengthen all three together, while using the Five Essential Acts of Self-Love, you will create the strong foundation to reinforce and support your overall health and well-being.  I will be going more in depth and covering each of these Five Basics over the next couple of weeks.  I'd like to suggest that before you read over them, make an inventory of where you're at in each area, and where you'd like to make some improvements, or see some changes.  I'll do the same and share my thoughts at the end of each post.  I hope you enjoy!


To Your Balanced House of Health and Mine,
Kathy    

How Our Experiences Affect Us

An example I like to use with my clients has to do with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  Imagine you're driving down the highway and all the sudden you notice a red car coming the other direction towards you.  With no time to stop, you collide with the red car and find yourself unconscious.  Now, fast forward a few months (or even years)....Ask yourself, what would happen whenever you see the color red?  Your body would freak out as if it were preparing for another accident, right?  Perhaps it would cause you to freeze, tighten up, feel sick, or even cause you to blank out. 
 
While that's an extreme example, it rings true to our everyday life on a similar scale.  Our body is taking in all the information around us through all our senses (sight, smell, hearing, taste, touch/feel) and keeps it for future reference.  When we come across something that reminds us of something we've experienced from the past, our body remembers and pulls that information out and reacts the same way it did before, often with strong responses.  So basically, we are re-experiencing the same feelings and emotions as before.  While this is an amazing protective mechanism our body has, what if it is reacting from a limiting belief when we were say 4 years of age?  Would that be helpful for dealing with issues today if we were coming from that 4 year old perspective?  Absolutely not.  Our body, mind, and spirit are amazing at protecting us, and will go to all costs to do so.  It is our opportunity and journey here to learn how these beautiful "gifts" of protection have been helping us and consciously connect to the language our body is speaking to us and to consciously choose differently for the present. 

Begin to notice what happens to you as you experience life.  Do certain things or situations trigger you?  If you haven't noticed before, begin today to notice what happens inside yourself.  When you notice your body reacting with strong emotions, feelings, tensing up, or reacting differently, thank your body for that protection mechanism.  But then let it know it's coming from something in the past and is no longer valuable to you anymore.  Then you can replace it with how you do choose to live.  I am grateful for the "gift" of asthma because it was protecting me from a limiting belief and of "I can't fully take in life around me".  Now that I recognize where it came from, I choose to thank my body for the gift, and then choose to let life and air flow easily through me.

Here's to your beautiful protective mechanisms and mine,
Kathy

Epiphany of the Day

This morning, while getting ready for a meeting, I was thinking about my body's beautiful protective mechanisms, and the Core Limiting Beliefs created by my subconscious as one of those mechanisms of protecting me.  Usually, when I'm in front of a crowd (ok, lets face it....pretty much anyone),  I don't have a whole lot to say.  The Limiting Belief of "I don't have anything to share with anyone" is a great protective mechanism.   For example, it has kept me out of many "scary" situations in which I may have been hurt (or embarrassed) inserting my foot into my mouth, or even worse, not having anything come out of my gaping, moving mouth.  So quite literally, it's helped me so I don't look stupid staring open-mouth at people.  That's a great protection, right?  While this may sound a bit silly, this limiting belief has actually been quite debilitating for me.  It stems back from as long as I could remember that I was told by everyone around me that I was a great listener.  And while this is a true statement, I am a great listener, I took this belief internally as "I have to listen to people and I am NOT good at speaking."  Well, this belief has led to a lifetime of holding back my thoughts & feelings, and left me feeling like I needed to listen to everyone's problems.  My body was protecting me with this belief of having to stay silent from getting hurt by saying the wrong thing, or not having anything to say because I didn't feel my thoughts were valuable. Meanwhile, my body was internalizing all the things people were sharing with me, and everything that I never voiced.  So I developed an eating disorder partly due to this amazing protection.  That was a huge ah-ha moment this morning. So with this new epiphany, I was faced with a choice. I could go to this meeting and continue my old limiting belief and habit of just listening, OR I could actually speak up & connect with people.  What did I choose?  I chose to face my fear with faith and spoke up. I thanked my body for that beautiful protection, but told it that it was no longer needed because I was no longer in the same environment when it was created.  I gave thanks for the old belief, but then chose to abandon it and choose the belief that I do have something worthwhile to share and that people are interested in me and what I have to say.  It was awesome to stand in my own power and love and appreciate myself, and be able to love and appreciate what everyone else had to bring to the meeting. It was a huge success. Hooray! So what is one way your body is protecting you? How can you face that Limiting Belief with love & gratitude for the protection it served you in the past, but know you are no longer in the past, and let go of that belief that is no longer serving you anymore?  Need help seeing gratitude for your past beliefs?  Let me know and I'll show you how to see the beautiful gift life has given you from any and all moments you've experienced.

Here's to overcoming beliefs that no longer have value.
Best Wishes,
Kathy

Just what is My House of Health?

Have you ever thought or stated that you want to be healthier? What exactly does that mean to you? Are you thinking about your physical health and relating to your body? Or are you meaning your Mental, or Emotional health? Or maybe a combination of all three? Well, I've been pondering on the meaning of health a lot the past few years as I've had to overcome my own health challenges. It is something I've become very passionate about and love teaching what I've learned. I've had several clients tell me I should write a book. And while this isn't a published book, it is a journal of ideas and information that will hopefully help many of you that are struggling along your own personal journey to health.

Health is defined as the condition of your body, mind, and spirit. Complete, or total health then, would include balance in all three areas. When we are out of balance in one area, it can (and often does) affect the other areas. Personally, I love the comparison of our body to a house for our spirit and mind. I love that! In pondering about my own house of health (body, mind, and spirit), I've often wondered what kind of condition it is in. Hence, the website name "My House of Health". My hope for this blog-site is to inspire, inform, and empower you to reclaim your own personal House of Health and create balance in all areas of your body, life, and relationships. So if you are interested in experiencing greater health (in all areas of your body, mind, and spirit), stick with me and we'll adventure out on an exciting and beautiful journey to creating balanced health together.


To Your House of Health and Mine,
With Much Love & Gratitude,

Kathy Heinsohn